Mujahid : "What you say about some one who married or had sexual intercourse with a sixteen year old girl who had not yet reached maturity/puberty?”
Questioners response : “Well the law says that’s ok, but I have to admit that I don’t think that’s right…”
Mujahid : “Exactly! The issue is not age, is maturity. If a nine year old girl has reached puberty and is mature then what is the problem?”
The reason I liked this response is because it answers a question with a question. This is a good way to provoke thought. Often the question (as in this very example) forces the questioner to answer his/her own question within the response.
Another benefit that is that Islam appears simple and clear and obvious enough for that person to understand themselves.
My traditional response is to mention the same point about maturity. What is important here is not some random age, but the state of physical and mental maturity. It is well known that humans in hot countries mature much faster that in colder climates. During some research on this very issue I discovered that the earliest recorded pregnancy was and eight year old girl in South America!
Aisha was therefore mature enough for this marriage. Reversing the question in this way was a stroke of genius, mashallah!
These are some other issues that could be mentioned:
Firstly: It was Allah who ordered the marriage of Aisha to the Prophet. That of course, takes us right back to the main issue that we talked about in the seminar about how to stop going round in circles. The one answer that answers all the questions!
Secondly: By marrying the Prophet at such a young age Aisha was raised, nurtured and imbibed with knowledge of Islam. It is a fact that she became one of this religions greatest Scholars.
Thirdly: Surely any objection to such a young marriage can only be made if can be shown that some harm was caused because of it. In fact all evidence points to the opposite in the case of this marriage which was so clearly full of love and happiness.
Fourthly: According to ibn Sa’d (The Women of Madina ) Aisha was in fact already promised in marriage even before she was married to the Prophet. It shows that arranging marriages at young ages was quite normal.
Fithly: AbuBakr, her father, was the one who asked the Prophet why he had not consummated the marriage with Aisha. (ibid)
Correcting Misunderstandings
Suggestion:
My humble opinion:
Having a first monthly period, or 3, 7, or 12 periods is not mature enough for marriage. Being mature for marriage is more than just physical sexual development, it includes mental / emotional / psicologocal maturity.
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Firstly: It was Allah who ordered the marriage of Aisha to the Prophet.
*** Without entering on a debate about allah, I reaaly question if that order included marriage at her 9 years old? Not waiting until she got 19 or more?
*** I hardly consider a nine years old boy or girl ready for marriage. I know that different societies have different views on this, and also know that in past centuries people had different opinions about when a person is mature enough for marriage, but mine is that marriage is for adults, not for 9 or 12, or 14 kids. Even at 18 or 19 some teenagers are not ready for marriage, even if their bodies say different.
Secondly: By marrying the Prophet at such a young age Aisha was raised, nurtured and imbibed with knowledge of Islam. It is a fact that she became one of this religions greatest Scholars.
*** A lot of disciples have learned their masters teachings without being marrying to them. She didnot needed to marry him to be able to obtain the level of knowledge of a great Scholar.
Thirdly: Surely any objection to such a young marriage can only be made if can be shown that some harm was caused because of it. In fact all evidence points to the opposite in the case of this marriage which was so clearly full of love and happiness.
*** A psicologist could enumerate a lot of harm caused by marrying a 9 yrs old girl.
Fourthly: According to ibn Sa’d (The Women of Madina ) Aisha was in fact already promised in marriage even before she was married to the Prophet. It shows that arranging marriages at young ages was quite normal.
*** I'm aware that marriage arrangements were done in those cultures years before of the actual wedding. even by the time the future groom & bride were babies. the issue is not the pre-arranged marriage between father of the bride and the father of the groom; but the actual age / maturity of them at the wedding day.
Fithly: AbuBakr, her father, was the one who asked the Prophet why he had not consummated the marriage with Aisha. (ibid)
*** I do not agree with her father.
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…earliest recorded pregnancy …
*** Yes, girls of 8 or 9 years old could get pregnant, but they and their babies enter in way more risk of death during pregnacy and / or labor than women of older ages.
*** Being capable of producing an ovule does not mean the person is physically or emotionally ready for sexual relations / marriage.
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In ancient times people may have thoght reaching puberty was sign of being ready for marriage; but societies have learned more over the time and minimum age for marriage has been raised in most (if not all) societies.
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